´´When it was time to spread your legs, you didn´t think´´: HIV, women and experiences

Abstract

This work aims to understand the meanings attributed by women living with HIV, about the conceptions of gender, sexuality and body, in their experiences with the diagnosis. For this, semi-structured individual interviews were carried out with three women living with HIV. According to the results found, the notions of fidelity and exclusivity between sexual partners appear as an imaginary of control and protection against HIV. In addition, the social control of women's sexuality and bodies ends up making them vulnerable to violent situations. The affective-sexual relationships changed after the diagnosis, from favoring a bond of union for the couple through care, to making experiences with new partners difficult due to the fear of revealing the diagnosis and experiencing the sexual experience crossed by HIV. The time of living with HIV and the year of discovery of the diagnosis were perceived as important markers to understand the uniqueness of each woman's experience. Thus, the moral burden that HIV carries, added to the social control of women's bodies and sexuality, caused unique forms of suffering arising from name-calling, mistreatment and prejudice, either by partnerships or by health professionals. Thus, the importance of publicizing this work is emphasized, as it can be a strategy for reflection and understanding about the specificities of HIV in women, deconstructing information that legitimizes prejudice and perpetuates practices of gender violence. It can also serve as a qualification for professionals in order to provide spaces for sensitive reception and support for these women.